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"Jesus, Savior, Pilot Me"

As a mother stills her child,      Thou canst hush the ocean wild; From August to November of last year, Taylor has had four witnessed and likely two other grand mal seizures; all of them in his sleep. By the time he'd had his sixth the Sunday before Thanksgiving, I had reached the end of my rope. It was terrifying to see him stiffen, shake, foam at the mouth and turn purple for many minutes. This particular seizure was the worst and the longest. We were struggling to get him seen by a neurologist and I had decided to call the paramedics for the fourth time and this time to have him transported to the hospital even if he regained consciousness. He needed to be fast tracked to testing and medication.  Little did I know that that call would take me down a path I never in a million years imagined I would be on.  To summarize what happened after the paramedics arrived, they pushed me out of Taylor's room and refused to give me the time of day. Never mind, he has a complex medical h
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The Newlyweds

 Part 1 May 2021 Spencer and Krissie began dating in the fall of 2020 and everything fell into place. Their second date was at our house while Spencer was quarantined because of a covid exposure. She had already had it so we deemed it safe for her to be here. She was here several days each week at first and then daily. Their relationship and their love seemed so natural. Nothing was ever forced or feared.  There were few opportunities to go out and about due to the circumstances surrounding a pandemic, so they got to know each other in our home, playing video games, watching movies, and talking. They would eat dinner with us. It was natural and I loved it. I grew to love Krissie almost as much as Spencer did!  Krissie adores my son and my momma heart nearly bursts to see the way she looks at him. She is kind and witty and intelligent and gentle and strong all rolled up into a tiny five foot one inch package. She is the third of nine children and has a mom, dad, stepmom, and grandparent

The 4 Year Old Who Vowed to be His Mom's Little Boy Forever Did Not Keep His Promise

When Taylor was just four sweet years old he told me that he would be my little boy forever, but ever since I first looked into his newborn eyes I knew then that he would forever be my baby. I often think of a favorite children's book, I'll Love You Forever,  by Robert Munsch and how a mother, even in her old age and her son's adulthood, would sneak into her son's bedroom at night and rock him in his sleep. It is even more meaningful to me now that I have teenagers and adult children than it was when I was reading to them when they fit on my lap. No matter how big they get, my kiddos will always be my babies.    Last May Taylor moved into a townhome with his friends. I knew from the day he was born that he would one day leave the nest. I know he has been itching to be on his own for a while, but he's paying for college and a truck as well as his expensive hobbies so rent didn't fit into his budget.  In  April, however, Destry told me that he went to see a townho

Gratitude Post: Let's Have Each Other's Backs

  I started my day today with gratitude in my heart. It was a chilly 25 degrees when I took Sarah to school. I slipped out of my warm bed, pulled on a sweatshirt, and slipped on some shoes. I went from my warm house to the garage and turned on the heat in the car. As the garage door was closing, I was feeling grateful that I could park in a garage and not have to scrape windows or clean snow off of a car that was parked outdoors. I felt grateful that my children could go to school, they were healthy and not in quarantine. Emma sent me a text shortly after I returned home from dropping of Sarah and asked if I could bring her yoga pants to her at 8:55. On the way to the school, I was grateful that I was available to take them to her. That is a luxury that not all moms have. I'm grateful that I can teach her accountability and responsibility--lessons that she has learned well. I'm more grateful that I can teach her love, compassion, forgiveness, and that when you make a mistake yo

"Part of Their World"

"Part of Their World," a song from one of my favorite Disney movies, The Little Mermaid,  makes me think of the relationship I have with my growing children. Ariel collects trinkets and treasures from the human world on land and admires them.  I collect photos and memories of my kids' interests and adventures.   For Ariel, that is not enough; she wants legs so she can be a part of the world outside the sea. She wants to dance and walk in the sun warmed sand.  Like Ariel, I look at the trinkets and activities my children collect or participate in and desire to be a part of it.  The older they get the more they venture out into their own worlds without me in search of their own treasure troves. Lucky for me, I already have legs and they frequently invite me to come along. I get to do and see and learn things because of my children's interests that I would not have otherwise.  Both of my boys look forward to NASA (National Auto Sport Association, not to be confused wit

He Was a Stranger

Last year Spencer decided he wanted to take his car racing hobby to the next level. He and a couple of other racing friends decided they wanted to try the "enduro," a six hour race with multiple drivers. His car was not ready, but he would spend several months and several dollars to prepare it. I, somewhat begrudgingly, gave up my garage for the winter to give the boys a sheltered workspace. Taylor spent hours upon hours building a roll cage. He, Spencer, and a friend, Tycho spent many additional hours pulling out unnecessary parts to make the car lighter and replacing others to make it  race ready.  Spencer would use the car in the monthly weekend races beginning in March to break in both the car and the driver. And then Covid 19 happened. Everything came to a screeching halt. No more school. No more going to church. No more family dinners. No more hanging out with friends.  And no more racing.  After a couple of months of complete "No's," permission was grante

Covid 19 Brings Out All the Feels

From across the hall, I listened to my three daughters laughing and bonding not only with each other, but with my sister and her daughter in Alaska. It was 11:00 p.m. on what, three weeks ago, would have been considered a school night. At 11:30 the party moved downstairs were they could, thanks to modern Nintendo technology, play Mario Kart with each other from 3,000 miles away. None of those shenanigans would have taken place if it weren't for the "stay safe, stay home" directive given by Governor Herbert in response the global pandemic we are currently simmering in.  Gratefully, the day ended in smiles, but it was an emotionally heavy day for some members of our household. Spencer has been taking a communications class, English class, and math class at Salt Lake Community College. He has been enjoying his time there and has been doing very well. All schools in Utah have switched to an online platform three weeks ago. This is not ideal for Spencer. He needs to interact