The first time I went to Trader Joe's, I was both under- and overwhelmed. I had heard that it was a gluten free mecca, that they had so many great products that just couldn't be missed. Upon entry, I was greeted with beautiful, affordable cut flowers. The produce section, also reasonable priced, sold the basics of any grocery store. I then perused small packages of cheese. I continued walking up and down each aisle, stopping occasionally to read the labels of products that caught my eye, only to put every item back onto its designated spot on the shelf. The store itself was small and crowded, filled mostly with college students and an occasional older woman. There were few mothers with children in tow, or heaping carts. The checkout lines were long, but had an employee at every register. I cannot speak to how long it took to get through a line because I walked out empty- handed. I left unsure if I would ever go back.
I was underwhelmed because it was just a grocery store; I don't know what else I expected. The prices were lower than I expected; I had assumed that it would be overpriced. I was overwhelmed because I didn't know what to buy that I couldn't get anywhere else and I did not understand what all the hype was about.
I did, in fact, return as I became educated and exposed to some of the Trader Joe's exclusive delicacies. I attended an event where someone brought a gluten free cake from Trader Joe's. It looked basic at best and definitely not something I would have bought on my own. Gluten free foods, as you may or may not know, may or may not be particularly palatable. It had been purchased especially for me, so I gave it a try. I decided that it was enough of a reason alone to go back to the small, crowded store. Additionally, social media is particularly adept at knowing what you didn't know you needed to know and I was informed by Facebook that the national chain also carried a seasonal gluten free pumpkin pancake mix in the fall. It is delicious and often out of stock. I learned of and tried several other Trader Joe's products that have been worth making a once or twice annual pilgrimage.
Costco, on the other hand, was love at first sight. I first went to Costco in Sandy when I was living in American Fork and had two small children. I went every 4-5 weeks. I bought huge packages of diapers, wipes, toilet paper, fruit snacks, and goldfish crackers. I would stock up on frozen veggies, milk, potatoes, apples and strawberries. I remember filling one shopping cart and sometimes needing another. I would fill every square inch of my minivan with all the treasures. I do not love driving long distances to go grocery shopping, but I will always drive to Costco.
Now that Costco is a mile and a half away, I go every week. I love to see the new products and I get sad when a beloved product I've been using for years disappears. I'm talking to you Greg's Ranch. I'm elated when another product disappears after I've grown attached then reappears: Kirkland Chocolate Chips. I never get tired of searching out new treasures to love. Costco also has an abundance of gluten free goods, maybe even more than Trader Joe's.
I stopped by Trader Joes last week to get the seasonal fall treats; sadly, there was not pumpkin pancake mix. As I was browsing this time, my thoughts began to focus on the realization that the dynamic in our home has changed. I am no longer preparing meals for seven family members plus a friend or two. I am now cooking for myself mostly. Destry prefers to eat out before he gets home most of the time and Sarah often fends for herself.
As I was walking the aisles looking for things I could not live without, the smaller packages appealed to me. Lately, I have been throwing away produce that goes bad before we can eat it. I threw away 1/2 a cake because that is all the three of us could reasonably eat in a reasonable amount of time. I seriously thought that maybe I would shop at Trader Joe's more now.
When September hits, even if it is still 90+ degrees, I start baking. I don't know what happens to me, but I do it every year. Renee calls me Betty Crocker. Saturdays become baking days. I enjoy baking and I continue through December. I phase out a bit after that and by spring I am done. My baked goods are going moldy or stale now. I have seriously been thinking that I may need to halve the recipes now. It is hard to do. I have been doubling recipes since I was baking in my mom's kitchen. I grew up in a family of eight and one batch of chocolate chip cookies was not enough. As my own family grew, I doubled recipes, put some in the freezer on occasion and we ate the rest. No baked goods went to waste.
Doubling recipes was easy; it meant our home was filled with people and that we had enough to share. In eight months, two daughters and one niece got married and moved out of our home. We had the pleasure of housing one of Estelle's friends for several months. Even in our earlier years of marriage, both of Destry's brothers and my sister, Erika, lived with us at different times. We have always had a full house. Our kids' friends would hang out here and we loved every minute of it.
Now we are almost empty nesters; Sarah is still here, but there are some days we wouldn't know it (with the exception of the shoes lying around). I am happy that three of my kids have found spouses with whom they get to share their lives. Taylor, who resides across the street, is working out of town more often than not. He is living his best life and I couldn't be happier. Sarah is saving money so she can spread her wings. Destry and I are able to have more conversations and improve our relationship. We are making travel plans. We can do something spontaneously if we choose to without having to make sure our kids are taken care of. They already are.
Our brains are wired for growth, for expansion. That is what I have been doing for my 57 revolutions around the sun. I am certainly still growing and have a lot more learning to do; it just feels different. I am no longer the sole comforter, chef, cheerleader and chauffeur. I happily share those roles with my kids' spouses and their friends. My family has expanded, but my household has shrunk. Bringing a newborn home came with challenges, but they were an expansion. Cleaning out a bedroom feels different than setting one up.
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