This is the season of endless gratitude posts on facebook and of remembering the things for which we all are grateful. I have three friends and one family member who are mourning during this time of gratitude. I know they all recognize the hand of God in their lives and that they could list a myriad of things they are grateful for; however, their hearts are heavy because of feelings of loss of a loved one. Each of them has lost in a different way, but none of them is gone for good. Our knowledge of the atonement and its role in the plan of salvation brings acceptance of what is right now, hope for the future and the grandfather of all gifts, peace.
I saw on facebook this morning a post from Danielle Cahoon. She shared lovely pictures of her family, recently taken. In the photos were four of her five beautiful children. She expressed sorrow that one precious daughter is not in the picture. She expressed the difficulty she has had in taking family pictures since the loss of her nine year old daughter a few years ago. Allie was born healthy, but contracted an illness that required her to receive a heart transplant when she was just over a year old. The gift of the heart allowed her to live until she was around nine. At that time her donated heart had given all it could and she passed away.
As a mother I can think of no greater sorrow than to lose a child. The Cahoon's have handled their loss with grace even in their grief. They continue to love and care for Beth and Thomas and have also welcomed twins, James and Esther. Danielle expresses gratitude for the lessons learned through her life's experiences. I love and admire her for that. I can only imagine the sadness that comes from looking at the glowing family portrait with love and joy at the children that are present, yet knowing that there is an empty spot. Danielle knows that one day her family portrait will be complete, as will her heart. But for now she walks by faith as she inspires me to do the same.
I recently read another facebook post from a high school acquaintance that I don't think I have seen since then. I have enjoyed seeing pictures of her four daughters, one of whom is married. Cheri Pugh Schmidt is a writer and has self published her works on Amazon. I love seeing her shine and use her talents. I remember her gentle quiet manner and am troubled by the loss that is befalling her at the moment. She initially posted, "My heart is in a million shattered pieces at my feet..." Two days later she revealed the cause of her broken heart. She has an 18 year old daughter who has Lyme Disease. A year ago a 43 year old married man that their family tried to welcome into their ward "groomed" her then 17 year old daughter and eventually impregnated her. He has taken her out of state, away from her family. She is days away from delivery and her family do not know where she is. Apparently, because she is 18 there is nothing that can legally be done to find her. My heart is in a million shattered pieces at my feet! I can only imagine the fear and pain she has in her maternal heart right now. I wish I could offer words of comfort. Maybe just knowing that there are many people who are praying for her and her family will help her as she seeks for the peace that can only come from the Savior.
A couple of weeks ago, a former missionary companion, Cheryl Winward, sent me an email message detailing an abusive event that happened at the hand of her husband. There marriage has not been good for years. I know that she and her three daughters have lived in fear that seems to have been escalating for the past year. There are many details and tender mercies that I will leave out. I will just say that the Lord is guiding her to safety and steps are being taken legally that will help ensure that. They are strong and Mariah, the oldest has a mission call. Her dad doesn't know about it, nor will he. She is not going far and they do not want him to seek her out. They are at peace with this decision and are moving forward with divorce, custody and restraining orders. The latter is already in place. They are strong and they are seeking help in the right places, they are especially seeking help from their Maker who loves and watches over them every day.
My kindred spirit, Andrea Nunn, called me a couple of days ago to tell me that her beloved, eldest son who had received his mission call and, with financial contributions from is grandma Sumsion and his parents had purchased the necessary supplies. The date was set for his temple endowment and things seemed to be progressing as they should. Well, Steven sat down with his father, Ralph and told him that he didn't believe that the church was true and that he would not be serving a mission. Ralph asked him if he had prayed about it and had been reading his scriptures. The answer was, "No." Ralph asked if they could pray about it, again, "No." He did want two weeks to make a final decision. At the conclusion of the two weeks he was firmly not going. He had secured a job and while he had not moved out of his parent's house, he had withdrawn from the family emotionally. He no longer participates in family prayer, scripture study, home evening or meals. My heart is broken for yet another family.
Andrea told me that she had great emotional difficulty returning the unopened garments, the overcoat and missionary shoes, ties and shirts. She is mourning and feels a profound sense of loss; almost like the feelings she had when her dad passed away a year ago. I can imagine that feeling as well. Moms have hopes and even expectations for their children. Steven is a good boy, he is smart and handsome and easy to like. He came so very close to reaching one of the dreams every Latter-day Saint mother has for her son, then without warning the dream was shattered. Now she will worry for his future. She knows he is immature and vulnerable. He claims to think that principles such as the word of wisdom are good, but she feels so uncertain. "The Church is still true," she told me. Her testimony and her resolve are strong. I love her and my heart aches as she is weathering this uncertain storm in her life.
Lastly, my hard-working, righteous brother-in-law, JR Macdonald lost his job today. It is a job that he has given his heart and soul to. He has sacrificed time with his family and done the work of three men until he ran himself ragged. His employer's opinion is that they had grounds to fire him, but that they would be willing to demote him and keep a close watch on him. Obviously, those terms didn't sit well with him and he walked out. He went to the temple today. I called Tammy to hopefully give her some words of encouragement, but ended up crying on her shoulder. She is strong and faithful. She posted this on facebook:
“Let us realize that the privilege to work is a gift, that power to work is a blessing, that love of work is success.” David O. Mckay
I think that so often we pray for success and expect money. Maybe we should change the way that we measure success. A janitor can find joy in his work just as easily as a ceo. Work is as much a spiritual necessity as it is temporal.
This brought inspirational tears to my eyes. What a great insight she has. I'm glad we are family.
As I watch and mourn with others as they navigate through mortality, somehow my own trials seem much less significant. After we entered the waters of baptism and took hold of the rod we were not promised rainbows and butterflies along the way, but mists of darkness, filthy waters, and the lure of worldly pleasures. We were promised guidance from a living prophet and the Holy Ghost. We are given examples of love and courage as I have witnessed recently to buoy us up as we struggle along. We are promised fruit more sweet than we could ever imagine and heavy hearts healed if we will endure to the end. We are blessed with a relationship with He who loves us best of all. I am not learned to be completely thankful for my trials, but I know they have refined me. I have learned compassion and forgiveness. I have learned that my testimony is deeply rooted within me and that I can do hard things. I have learned to be more grateful and to rely on the Lord for my daily bread. I have learned to love more freely and to be more flexible. I have learned that although the Lord does not answer my prayers in the way I may anticipate, He does answer them for my good. I have learned that even though I have had disappointments and unfulfilled expectations, sometimes God wants for me exactly what I want. I am grateful for people in my life who show me how to faithful and hopeful amidst the most difficult of life's storms. I am grateful that gratitude and charity can lift heavy hearts.
I saw on facebook this morning a post from Danielle Cahoon. She shared lovely pictures of her family, recently taken. In the photos were four of her five beautiful children. She expressed sorrow that one precious daughter is not in the picture. She expressed the difficulty she has had in taking family pictures since the loss of her nine year old daughter a few years ago. Allie was born healthy, but contracted an illness that required her to receive a heart transplant when she was just over a year old. The gift of the heart allowed her to live until she was around nine. At that time her donated heart had given all it could and she passed away.
As a mother I can think of no greater sorrow than to lose a child. The Cahoon's have handled their loss with grace even in their grief. They continue to love and care for Beth and Thomas and have also welcomed twins, James and Esther. Danielle expresses gratitude for the lessons learned through her life's experiences. I love and admire her for that. I can only imagine the sadness that comes from looking at the glowing family portrait with love and joy at the children that are present, yet knowing that there is an empty spot. Danielle knows that one day her family portrait will be complete, as will her heart. But for now she walks by faith as she inspires me to do the same.
I recently read another facebook post from a high school acquaintance that I don't think I have seen since then. I have enjoyed seeing pictures of her four daughters, one of whom is married. Cheri Pugh Schmidt is a writer and has self published her works on Amazon. I love seeing her shine and use her talents. I remember her gentle quiet manner and am troubled by the loss that is befalling her at the moment. She initially posted, "My heart is in a million shattered pieces at my feet..." Two days later she revealed the cause of her broken heart. She has an 18 year old daughter who has Lyme Disease. A year ago a 43 year old married man that their family tried to welcome into their ward "groomed" her then 17 year old daughter and eventually impregnated her. He has taken her out of state, away from her family. She is days away from delivery and her family do not know where she is. Apparently, because she is 18 there is nothing that can legally be done to find her. My heart is in a million shattered pieces at my feet! I can only imagine the fear and pain she has in her maternal heart right now. I wish I could offer words of comfort. Maybe just knowing that there are many people who are praying for her and her family will help her as she seeks for the peace that can only come from the Savior.
A couple of weeks ago, a former missionary companion, Cheryl Winward, sent me an email message detailing an abusive event that happened at the hand of her husband. There marriage has not been good for years. I know that she and her three daughters have lived in fear that seems to have been escalating for the past year. There are many details and tender mercies that I will leave out. I will just say that the Lord is guiding her to safety and steps are being taken legally that will help ensure that. They are strong and Mariah, the oldest has a mission call. Her dad doesn't know about it, nor will he. She is not going far and they do not want him to seek her out. They are at peace with this decision and are moving forward with divorce, custody and restraining orders. The latter is already in place. They are strong and they are seeking help in the right places, they are especially seeking help from their Maker who loves and watches over them every day.
My kindred spirit, Andrea Nunn, called me a couple of days ago to tell me that her beloved, eldest son who had received his mission call and, with financial contributions from is grandma Sumsion and his parents had purchased the necessary supplies. The date was set for his temple endowment and things seemed to be progressing as they should. Well, Steven sat down with his father, Ralph and told him that he didn't believe that the church was true and that he would not be serving a mission. Ralph asked him if he had prayed about it and had been reading his scriptures. The answer was, "No." Ralph asked if they could pray about it, again, "No." He did want two weeks to make a final decision. At the conclusion of the two weeks he was firmly not going. He had secured a job and while he had not moved out of his parent's house, he had withdrawn from the family emotionally. He no longer participates in family prayer, scripture study, home evening or meals. My heart is broken for yet another family.
Andrea told me that she had great emotional difficulty returning the unopened garments, the overcoat and missionary shoes, ties and shirts. She is mourning and feels a profound sense of loss; almost like the feelings she had when her dad passed away a year ago. I can imagine that feeling as well. Moms have hopes and even expectations for their children. Steven is a good boy, he is smart and handsome and easy to like. He came so very close to reaching one of the dreams every Latter-day Saint mother has for her son, then without warning the dream was shattered. Now she will worry for his future. She knows he is immature and vulnerable. He claims to think that principles such as the word of wisdom are good, but she feels so uncertain. "The Church is still true," she told me. Her testimony and her resolve are strong. I love her and my heart aches as she is weathering this uncertain storm in her life.
Lastly, my hard-working, righteous brother-in-law, JR Macdonald lost his job today. It is a job that he has given his heart and soul to. He has sacrificed time with his family and done the work of three men until he ran himself ragged. His employer's opinion is that they had grounds to fire him, but that they would be willing to demote him and keep a close watch on him. Obviously, those terms didn't sit well with him and he walked out. He went to the temple today. I called Tammy to hopefully give her some words of encouragement, but ended up crying on her shoulder. She is strong and faithful. She posted this on facebook:
“Let us realize that the privilege to work is a gift, that power to work is a blessing, that love of work is success.” David O. Mckay
I think that so often we pray for success and expect money. Maybe we should change the way that we measure success. A janitor can find joy in his work just as easily as a ceo. Work is as much a spiritual necessity as it is temporal.
This brought inspirational tears to my eyes. What a great insight she has. I'm glad we are family.
As I watch and mourn with others as they navigate through mortality, somehow my own trials seem much less significant. After we entered the waters of baptism and took hold of the rod we were not promised rainbows and butterflies along the way, but mists of darkness, filthy waters, and the lure of worldly pleasures. We were promised guidance from a living prophet and the Holy Ghost. We are given examples of love and courage as I have witnessed recently to buoy us up as we struggle along. We are promised fruit more sweet than we could ever imagine and heavy hearts healed if we will endure to the end. We are blessed with a relationship with He who loves us best of all. I am not learned to be completely thankful for my trials, but I know they have refined me. I have learned compassion and forgiveness. I have learned that my testimony is deeply rooted within me and that I can do hard things. I have learned to be more grateful and to rely on the Lord for my daily bread. I have learned to love more freely and to be more flexible. I have learned that although the Lord does not answer my prayers in the way I may anticipate, He does answer them for my good. I have learned that even though I have had disappointments and unfulfilled expectations, sometimes God wants for me exactly what I want. I am grateful for people in my life who show me how to faithful and hopeful amidst the most difficult of life's storms. I am grateful that gratitude and charity can lift heavy hearts.
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