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I Felt Like the Grinch

Yesterday I received a text from our ward executive secretary asking if I would be able to meet with a member of the bishopric at 10:30. I replied, "I would rather not ;) but I will." Gratefully, I only had about 30 minutes to be worried about it. I had had a feeling for a few weeks that my days as the Primary chorister were numbered. I have loved it, but I suppose there are others who would also love it.

I met with a counselor in our new bishopric, Joe Hudson, the same guy who asked me to be on the stake Relief Society committee a couple of months ago when he was a High Counselor. He thanked me for my service, told me how great the Primary program was...then told me that he would like to release me.

He mentioned that they didn't have another calling for me at that time, but that he was sure that we would be meeting again within a couple of weeks. I decided to tell him what I was actually doing with the stake and told him that I would be okay if he wanted to wait until the end of January to meet with me again because I had a pretty big responsibility with that.

He had a look of both relief and understanding. He said that the bishopric had been praying about me and that now he know that the Lord is mindful of each of us and that he "micromanages our lives." I am sure it was confirmation of inspiration for him.

I wanted to cry. Maybe I was crying a little. I was saddened that a period of my life that had brought me so much joy was coming to an end. I also knew it was the right thing. I have quite a few responsibilities and now I could devote more of my heart to the stake calling. I was getting things done there, but my heart has not been into it as much as it could/should be.

I started to walk home even though Sacrament Meeting was only a few minutes from starting. I was teary and wanted to pull myself together. Destry was driving to church. I had him take me home. He picked up Emma and he, and the girls drove to church. Taylor was already there and Spencer was almost ready.

I went into my room and prayed. My heart was ready to burst. Although I will miss being with the children each week, the Lord prepared me to be released from this calling that I have loved and He prepared the bishopric to not give me another calling at this time. They didn't know why when they first had that impression, but they do now.I pictured the Grinch's heart in the classic Christmas tale whose small heart grew three sizes in one day because he saw that he could not take away the joy of the Day from the Who's even when they had no gifts or garland. I knew I was loved and my own heart grew three sizes.

Spencer finished getting ready and the two of us made it to church before I was released.

I said a tearful goodbye to my kids in Primary. Sarah was tearful too. Estelle said she didn't want me to be released because she liked what I did in there. It feels good when my toughest critics approve.

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