Nearly two years ago I posted about my kids growing up and our lives changing. One of the changes we made was that we no longer played in the "baby pool" at the Lehi Legacy Center. In addition, Spencer was beginning to attend Stake Dances. Last Saturday the girls, Erika, David, Jessica, Malcolm and I went to the Legacy Center pool together while the boys were out on a 4 wheeler adventure without any adults. I pondered on my hesitations for letting the boys spread their wings and realized too, that I could have dropped the girls off at the pool and they would have had a perfectly lovely and safe time without me.
Much of the past 16 years have been spent teaching and protecting my children from physical harm that could befall them.
Wear your helmet.
Look both ways before you cross the street.
Don't play in the street.
Brush your teeth.
Don't talk to strangers.
Buckle up.
Learn how to swim.
Don't climb on that.
Wash your hands before you eat.
For one child, check your blood and take your medicine
Eat healthy food.
Don't eat raw chicken.
Don't drink pool water.
Change your sheets.
Don't eat that.
Don't open the door for solicitors.
Don't play with fire.
Don't go out of the circle (cul de sac).
Don't die (I don't think I have ever said that, except maybe to Taylor and not because I love him more, just because he has health issues that could make him more prone to dying).
Etc., etc., etc....
(The first nine items were ones that I quickly spat out, I asked my kids for additional items and this is what I got).
Keeping kids safe during the toddler years is a full time job. Babies' biggest hazard is their older siblings and driving teenagers are a danger to themselves and their peers. Moms hope that when their school age kiddos walk out the door that they remember what they have been taught and that the adults who watch over them really do. Learning to be independent is one goal of childhood; it is done in small steps over 18 plus years. Parents hope that their children are equipped with the ability to make good choices be an asset to the world.
I know that my kids like to hang out with me, even the teenagers, but they also want to exert their independence, and have wanted to do so since they were like, oh, two years old. Only now, they really can be more independent. They also still need me, but they don't need me to remind them of the above list (as much). They do need me to allow them to make choices, try new things and know that they really can do things all by themselves. They need me to allow them to fail and experience consequences that follow certain choices. They need me to watch them as they have always demanded from their earliest days at the playground when they would chant, "Look what I can do, mom!" They need me to cheer them on, to comfort and encourage them.
They still need rules and guidelines, like the ones I gave to the 4-wheel riders about how it wasn't necessary to show off or to "one up" each other. They needed to wear helmets at all times, take water and food with them, take communication devices and check in if they were still alive and they were not going make it back at their estimated expected arrival time. Last, but not least, they needed to stop and wait until Taylor's BG was up to normal if he happened to drop too low. I am thankful that Spencer is a good watchdog when it comes to Taylor, even though Taylor hates it. There was also another boy joining the journey whose mother has diabetes and I knew he could help out if necessary. But, they don't need me to follow along with them watching their every move like my sister-in-law does to keep her toddler safe.
They all made it! They had fun, they got along in spite of the number of alpha males in the group. They are growing up, maturing and becoming more and more responsible. I love to watch them transform, at the same time I know that the years my boys will be spending in my home are numbered. In addition, even though I know I need to let them try and fail and try again their pain is my pain, maybe even compounded in my mommy heart. That part is selfish, I know.
Years ago when I would struggle keeping track of my five little ones at the pool, I would longingly look at the moms who were quietly reading a book poolside. Now I mostly think back fondly of the fun we had together splashing, sliding and floating around the lazy river. Now I watch my kids splash and slide and float either on their own or with the words, "Look at me, Mom!" They don't need my assistance, just my loving approval. Now that I have the option of reading on the side of the pool, I probably won't. I love playing in the water too much.
This pool trip I was ordered to follow or to watch or to put my head under the water. David and Jessica, however, had to hold onto or keep constant watch of 18 month old Malcolm. It was fun watching him nervously play or cling to his parents. My girls loved having David through them in the pool dozens of times. It was good to hang out with them and with Erika. It is so much easier to have everyone dress and dry off themselves. I remember the days when it would take me 30 minutes just to get everything in their swim gear and at least that long to get us all out of it. For some reason visiting the pool brings out the nostalgia in me. It is a place we all love and where we have seen the evidence of growing up.
Much of the past 16 years have been spent teaching and protecting my children from physical harm that could befall them.
Wear your helmet.
Look both ways before you cross the street.
Don't play in the street.
Brush your teeth.
Don't talk to strangers.
Buckle up.
Learn how to swim.
Don't climb on that.
Wash your hands before you eat.
For one child, check your blood and take your medicine
Eat healthy food.
Don't eat raw chicken.
Don't drink pool water.
Change your sheets.
Don't eat that.
Don't open the door for solicitors.
Don't play with fire.
Don't go out of the circle (cul de sac).
Don't die (I don't think I have ever said that, except maybe to Taylor and not because I love him more, just because he has health issues that could make him more prone to dying).
Etc., etc., etc....
(The first nine items were ones that I quickly spat out, I asked my kids for additional items and this is what I got).
Keeping kids safe during the toddler years is a full time job. Babies' biggest hazard is their older siblings and driving teenagers are a danger to themselves and their peers. Moms hope that when their school age kiddos walk out the door that they remember what they have been taught and that the adults who watch over them really do. Learning to be independent is one goal of childhood; it is done in small steps over 18 plus years. Parents hope that their children are equipped with the ability to make good choices be an asset to the world.
I know that my kids like to hang out with me, even the teenagers, but they also want to exert their independence, and have wanted to do so since they were like, oh, two years old. Only now, they really can be more independent. They also still need me, but they don't need me to remind them of the above list (as much). They do need me to allow them to make choices, try new things and know that they really can do things all by themselves. They need me to allow them to fail and experience consequences that follow certain choices. They need me to watch them as they have always demanded from their earliest days at the playground when they would chant, "Look what I can do, mom!" They need me to cheer them on, to comfort and encourage them.
They still need rules and guidelines, like the ones I gave to the 4-wheel riders about how it wasn't necessary to show off or to "one up" each other. They needed to wear helmets at all times, take water and food with them, take communication devices and check in if they were still alive and they were not going make it back at their estimated expected arrival time. Last, but not least, they needed to stop and wait until Taylor's BG was up to normal if he happened to drop too low. I am thankful that Spencer is a good watchdog when it comes to Taylor, even though Taylor hates it. There was also another boy joining the journey whose mother has diabetes and I knew he could help out if necessary. But, they don't need me to follow along with them watching their every move like my sister-in-law does to keep her toddler safe.
They all made it! They had fun, they got along in spite of the number of alpha males in the group. They are growing up, maturing and becoming more and more responsible. I love to watch them transform, at the same time I know that the years my boys will be spending in my home are numbered. In addition, even though I know I need to let them try and fail and try again their pain is my pain, maybe even compounded in my mommy heart. That part is selfish, I know.
Years ago when I would struggle keeping track of my five little ones at the pool, I would longingly look at the moms who were quietly reading a book poolside. Now I mostly think back fondly of the fun we had together splashing, sliding and floating around the lazy river. Now I watch my kids splash and slide and float either on their own or with the words, "Look at me, Mom!" They don't need my assistance, just my loving approval. Now that I have the option of reading on the side of the pool, I probably won't. I love playing in the water too much.
This pool trip I was ordered to follow or to watch or to put my head under the water. David and Jessica, however, had to hold onto or keep constant watch of 18 month old Malcolm. It was fun watching him nervously play or cling to his parents. My girls loved having David through them in the pool dozens of times. It was good to hang out with them and with Erika. It is so much easier to have everyone dress and dry off themselves. I remember the days when it would take me 30 minutes just to get everything in their swim gear and at least that long to get us all out of it. For some reason visiting the pool brings out the nostalgia in me. It is a place we all love and where we have seen the evidence of growing up.
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