A Couple of Things About Today and last Friday That are not Really Related, but I wanted to Write about Them at the Same Time
Tonight after our nightly exercise regimen, Sarah told me that I look like I am pregnant. She has been mentioning this quite often lately. She is not being rude, just making an observation, maybe even hoping. I usually just tell her that I'm not and we move on. I have been a little touchy today, not necessarily about looking like I'm pregnant when I'm not, and was a little bothered by her comment this time. So tonight when I reminded her that I am not, I also added that I was sorry. She looked at me and sincerely said, "why are you sorry?" I honestly didn't know what to say. I just looked at her. I was thinking that I was sorry that I have been exercising regularly, honestly trying to watch what I eat and hoping to lose a few pounds, but my body wants to hold onto all of them for some reason. She does not need to know that. Mostly I don't care. I spent a lot of years being skinny and now I'm not, but my body works.
It has grown five babies, it can exercise, walk, work, play and do almost everything I would like it too. It is healthy and in spite of my girls, mostly Emma and Estelle, thinking they have an old mom ( I suppose they kind of do) I am not at all worried about my age and even less worried about my appearance now than I was when I was younger and skinny.
And I'm going to take to heart the words, "You look amazing!" that were spoken by one of Emma's classmates when I dropped off Estelle's homework at the school just last Friday. I assume that Emma and her friends had been talking about the ages of her parents at some point in the not so distant past because when I ran into Emma who was selling goodies and junk at their "school store" she mentioned that her friends can't believe I'm that old. And sweet Daphne, who is my current favorite person, quickly blurted out the "Ya, you look amazing" words.
That trip to the school was not a waste, in more ways than one. Not only did I get my ego stroked by a sixth grader, but Estelle, who was talking to Emma in the hall by the store when I went inside ran to me and gave me a big hug as soon as she saw me. She thanked me for taking her homework to her. Emma also gave me a hug. In front of her friends. I know that some people would criticize my decision to take completed homework to her so she wouldn't miss "Fun Friday," 30 minutes of fun activities that the kids who are caught up for the week get to participate in. I should have let her live with the consequences of her forgetfulness. No way! And miss out on the midday hugs from two of my favorite girls and as a bonus to hear the shout out from one of their friends.
Estelle is very responsible about getting her homework done. I don't have to remind her and I rarely even help her. She has been a little lax about putting it back into her backpack each day, but no one is perfect. I would rather have completed homework on the kitchen table than undone homework in the backpack. I have forgotten things plenty of times and I would hope that people would be compassionate and helpful during my many moments of imperfection.
Back to my beginning story. Sarah truly does not care one way or the other if my tummy looks like it has a baby in it. She was just making an observation. It was not judgmental as I was beginning to wonder. Her puzzled look and her asking me why I was sorry are evidence of that. I appreciate her innocence, and hope I can hold onto it for a little bit longer. A more experienced Emma let Sarah know that it was rude to tell people who don't have a baby in their tummy that it looks like they do. That was the end of that conversation.
Part Two. Rewind to This Morning. (Remember this will not relate at all to what I already wrote).
Taylor has a field trip tomorrow that I volunteered to go on. I received an email from his teacher on Monday saying that I needed to have some sort of training and a background check to be able to participate. Oh brother. I didn't make it into the school yesterday, not that it would have changed the outcome, but I showered before taking the kids to school. When I dropped off Taylor I went inside to talk to them at the office.
The training includes reading through a binder about safety and confidentiality then taking a test. I also needed to be fingerprinted and have a background check done even if I have had one done elsewhere and of course, pay another $20. There is no bending the rules, I was told. Well I took their stupid test after browsing through the binder filled with mostly common sense items and passed. I missed the question about how the school will be alerted if they are to go on lockdown. A detail I am sure I will never need, but I know now. It will be with some sort of alarm. Good job. Unfortunately, the person who does the background check was not in today and even if she had been it may not have been done soon enough to be able to go.
I was really annoyed. Annoyed that I didn't know about this sooner and annoyed that I had to back out of my commitment to help with the field trip. In the email it said that I would be assigned a group of ten kids. That is quite a few kids to have to reassign to other already large groups. The nice office lady did tell me that they couldn't stop me from showing up at the field trip and spending time with my son. I already had that thought in my head. I had told Taylor that I was going and thought he was expecting me to go. That was important to me too.
I slugged out of the school feeling like I was considered guilty before being proven innocent. They are not the only school to require background checks, I've done it before, but it is the first one that was so stubborn about it. I began thinking about how the schools claim to want parental involvement. This school actually requires it. In addition, I tried to remember if I had ever heard of a time when a parent child had harmed a child. I'm not saying that it never has or couldn't ever happen, but I could not think of one time where I had heard on the news or from the word on the street that a mom volunteering on a field trip hurt a student. I hear of a handful of teachers every year as well as an occasional crazy person who shouldn't have been in the school in the first place.
If the schools want to foster a spirit of volunteerism it would be well to make volunteers feel more welcome. It is said to be done in the name of protecting the kids, but truly, how many P.T.A. moms have been in the news for hurting the kids, I ask? I would think that more damage could be done by not having enough chaperones.
After I picked up Taylor from school and told him about the situation and that I would just meet him there he said that I didn't really need to go. He told me that it would take the whole school day and that I would be able to get a lot of my own school work done during that time (I'm taking real estate classes online). I told him that the reason I wanted to work in real estate was so that I would have the flexibility to attend field trips and other events with my kids, that that was what was most important to me. I thanked him for his consideration.
We talked again a little later and he told me that he really didn't care if I went or not. I asked him to tell me honestly, not thinking about my needing to take my classes, if he wanted me to come or not. He said that he did not want me to come. I tried not to be sad. He, like Sarah, was not being rude or trying to push me away. He truly did not care if I went or not. He is not really looking forward to it himself and, to him, having me there would not change that.
Even though I would have loved spending the time with him and even though I was really annoyed that the school would not let me help, I have a feeling that this is playing out the way it is supposed to. I watch my cute little kindergarten friend, Regan, on Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays. I already told her mom I wouldn't be able to watch her on Thursday because I'm going with Sarah on her field trip. For some reason I hadn't told her I couldn't on Wednesday. I don't really know why, I just kept thinking through in my head how I could make it work. I know that Tina wouldn't care. She checks with me often to make sure it is ok that I still watch her and assures me that she has plenty of backups and that she really could stay home if necessary. Regan is a little sweetheart and I have enjoyed watching her since she was three, but I will admit that the kindergarten schedule is a bit tricky. I just took her along with me whenever I needed to go somewhere before, but I have to plan my time around when she is leaving and returning. Usually it is fine, but once in a while I have to do a little juggling.
Estelle came home from school feeling a little under the weather. Her nose is runny and her throat hurts. She and I are not sure if she will be going to school tomorrow. I would not know what to do about her being home if I had to go with Taylor. I'm not really comfortable asking a neighbor to watch a sick child and Destry has been home recovering from a surgical root canal the last two days and will likely not be available to stay at home tomorrow. Maybe she needs some mommy time. Maybe Taylor needs some independence. Maybe something else that I'm not even aware of needs to take place.
I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I do know that God is in the details of our lives. Events happen for a purpose, even annoying or disappointing ones. Often God's purposes are unknown to us. Even though tomorrow is not going to play out the way I had planned, I know that what He needs to get done will.
It has grown five babies, it can exercise, walk, work, play and do almost everything I would like it too. It is healthy and in spite of my girls, mostly Emma and Estelle, thinking they have an old mom ( I suppose they kind of do) I am not at all worried about my age and even less worried about my appearance now than I was when I was younger and skinny.
And I'm going to take to heart the words, "You look amazing!" that were spoken by one of Emma's classmates when I dropped off Estelle's homework at the school just last Friday. I assume that Emma and her friends had been talking about the ages of her parents at some point in the not so distant past because when I ran into Emma who was selling goodies and junk at their "school store" she mentioned that her friends can't believe I'm that old. And sweet Daphne, who is my current favorite person, quickly blurted out the "Ya, you look amazing" words.
That trip to the school was not a waste, in more ways than one. Not only did I get my ego stroked by a sixth grader, but Estelle, who was talking to Emma in the hall by the store when I went inside ran to me and gave me a big hug as soon as she saw me. She thanked me for taking her homework to her. Emma also gave me a hug. In front of her friends. I know that some people would criticize my decision to take completed homework to her so she wouldn't miss "Fun Friday," 30 minutes of fun activities that the kids who are caught up for the week get to participate in. I should have let her live with the consequences of her forgetfulness. No way! And miss out on the midday hugs from two of my favorite girls and as a bonus to hear the shout out from one of their friends.
Estelle is very responsible about getting her homework done. I don't have to remind her and I rarely even help her. She has been a little lax about putting it back into her backpack each day, but no one is perfect. I would rather have completed homework on the kitchen table than undone homework in the backpack. I have forgotten things plenty of times and I would hope that people would be compassionate and helpful during my many moments of imperfection.
Back to my beginning story. Sarah truly does not care one way or the other if my tummy looks like it has a baby in it. She was just making an observation. It was not judgmental as I was beginning to wonder. Her puzzled look and her asking me why I was sorry are evidence of that. I appreciate her innocence, and hope I can hold onto it for a little bit longer. A more experienced Emma let Sarah know that it was rude to tell people who don't have a baby in their tummy that it looks like they do. That was the end of that conversation.
Part Two. Rewind to This Morning. (Remember this will not relate at all to what I already wrote).
Taylor has a field trip tomorrow that I volunteered to go on. I received an email from his teacher on Monday saying that I needed to have some sort of training and a background check to be able to participate. Oh brother. I didn't make it into the school yesterday, not that it would have changed the outcome, but I showered before taking the kids to school. When I dropped off Taylor I went inside to talk to them at the office.
The training includes reading through a binder about safety and confidentiality then taking a test. I also needed to be fingerprinted and have a background check done even if I have had one done elsewhere and of course, pay another $20. There is no bending the rules, I was told. Well I took their stupid test after browsing through the binder filled with mostly common sense items and passed. I missed the question about how the school will be alerted if they are to go on lockdown. A detail I am sure I will never need, but I know now. It will be with some sort of alarm. Good job. Unfortunately, the person who does the background check was not in today and even if she had been it may not have been done soon enough to be able to go.
I was really annoyed. Annoyed that I didn't know about this sooner and annoyed that I had to back out of my commitment to help with the field trip. In the email it said that I would be assigned a group of ten kids. That is quite a few kids to have to reassign to other already large groups. The nice office lady did tell me that they couldn't stop me from showing up at the field trip and spending time with my son. I already had that thought in my head. I had told Taylor that I was going and thought he was expecting me to go. That was important to me too.
I slugged out of the school feeling like I was considered guilty before being proven innocent. They are not the only school to require background checks, I've done it before, but it is the first one that was so stubborn about it. I began thinking about how the schools claim to want parental involvement. This school actually requires it. In addition, I tried to remember if I had ever heard of a time when a parent child had harmed a child. I'm not saying that it never has or couldn't ever happen, but I could not think of one time where I had heard on the news or from the word on the street that a mom volunteering on a field trip hurt a student. I hear of a handful of teachers every year as well as an occasional crazy person who shouldn't have been in the school in the first place.
If the schools want to foster a spirit of volunteerism it would be well to make volunteers feel more welcome. It is said to be done in the name of protecting the kids, but truly, how many P.T.A. moms have been in the news for hurting the kids, I ask? I would think that more damage could be done by not having enough chaperones.
After I picked up Taylor from school and told him about the situation and that I would just meet him there he said that I didn't really need to go. He told me that it would take the whole school day and that I would be able to get a lot of my own school work done during that time (I'm taking real estate classes online). I told him that the reason I wanted to work in real estate was so that I would have the flexibility to attend field trips and other events with my kids, that that was what was most important to me. I thanked him for his consideration.
We talked again a little later and he told me that he really didn't care if I went or not. I asked him to tell me honestly, not thinking about my needing to take my classes, if he wanted me to come or not. He said that he did not want me to come. I tried not to be sad. He, like Sarah, was not being rude or trying to push me away. He truly did not care if I went or not. He is not really looking forward to it himself and, to him, having me there would not change that.
Even though I would have loved spending the time with him and even though I was really annoyed that the school would not let me help, I have a feeling that this is playing out the way it is supposed to. I watch my cute little kindergarten friend, Regan, on Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays. I already told her mom I wouldn't be able to watch her on Thursday because I'm going with Sarah on her field trip. For some reason I hadn't told her I couldn't on Wednesday. I don't really know why, I just kept thinking through in my head how I could make it work. I know that Tina wouldn't care. She checks with me often to make sure it is ok that I still watch her and assures me that she has plenty of backups and that she really could stay home if necessary. Regan is a little sweetheart and I have enjoyed watching her since she was three, but I will admit that the kindergarten schedule is a bit tricky. I just took her along with me whenever I needed to go somewhere before, but I have to plan my time around when she is leaving and returning. Usually it is fine, but once in a while I have to do a little juggling.
Estelle came home from school feeling a little under the weather. Her nose is runny and her throat hurts. She and I are not sure if she will be going to school tomorrow. I would not know what to do about her being home if I had to go with Taylor. I'm not really comfortable asking a neighbor to watch a sick child and Destry has been home recovering from a surgical root canal the last two days and will likely not be available to stay at home tomorrow. Maybe she needs some mommy time. Maybe Taylor needs some independence. Maybe something else that I'm not even aware of needs to take place.
I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I do know that God is in the details of our lives. Events happen for a purpose, even annoying or disappointing ones. Often God's purposes are unknown to us. Even though tomorrow is not going to play out the way I had planned, I know that what He needs to get done will.
Comments
Post a Comment