When my kiddos were little we started a tradition of "Friday pizza and movie night." We would rent a DVD from the local Hollywood Video to select a family film and maybe one for mom and dad too. We would enjoy our pizza, get into our pj's and turn on the show. It became a little more challenging selecting a video that would please everyone when we had bigish boys and little girls. Sometimes we would watch a girlie one first then put the girlies to bed and watch another one with just the boys. Sometimes we would take turns choosing.
Things evolve.
Next came the occasional "late night." We, like many other families, decided that we would not participate in sleepovers and the late night became the substitute activity. During some late nights we would have our friends over and occasionally my kids would go elsewhere. As time went on Friday nights became more about friends than family until now where it is exclusively about friends.
I have been told, more than once, that our house has a revolving door. I suppose it does and I love it. I love seeing our neighbor friends flow in and out. I love getting to know the new friends my children have met in school. Last night was an extra crazy and extra fun Friday night all rolled up into one.
It began right after school, of course. I enjoy greeting my children and hearing about their day. I am usually worn out by Friday afternoon and grateful that the elementary people only have to read. The rest of the week I am very dutiful about listening to them, but on Fridays, Raz-Kids and reading to themselves are usually the activities I choose.
I received a phone call from a friend. I usually like to include names of our friends, but for this story I will omit them. A little back story for this phone call is this. Spencer has a great group of friends, including a 15 year old girl that he kinda likes and who kinda likes him too. It is innocent and cute and part of growing up. At 16, Spencer is an older sophomore. The homecoming dance is coming up next week and he was not planning on going. That is until he received pressure from a couple of friends who insisted that this particular girl's parents would approve of his asking her to the dance as long as they went as a group.
He and another newly 16 year old friend made plans to go together. Well, the friend asked and received a positive answer. Spencer asked and two days later was told that her parents, indeed, felt like she was too young. She was, however, hosting a "not going to homecoming party next Saturday." He agreed to go. She felt bad and awkward, as did my son. Spencer is also worried that her parents will think less of him--poor boy. In addition, he feels bad that he is leaving his friend without a double date...This whole situation is very distressing for him. It makes me glad I'm not 16, or 15.
Now to the phone call. The mother of the boy who is left with a date, but not a group to go with called to express her valid concerns. She feels that Spencer needs to fulfill his obligation to her son by asking another girl to the dance, she even offered a suggestion of a cute girl who just celebrated her 16th birthday yesterday. She explained that her son is left in a sticky situation because neither his parents nor the girls' parents would allow them to go alone. I told her that I understood and asked about his joining another group, but at this point it would be difficult because it is so close to the dance date. I told her that I would, in fact, talk to Spencer to make sure he understood the situation his friend is now in. I understand her concerns I am concerned about that too. I hung up wondering what exactly she wanted me to do about this. I was true to my word and as soon as I hung up with her I invited Spencer into my room so we could talk semi-privately. I'm not sure if she wanted me to require Spencer to ask another girl or what. It is Spencer's choice and his and his friends' problem.
We can certainly look back and see how everyone could have done things differently, including Spencer's not asking a 15 year old girl in the first place. I feel like Spencer loses no matter which choice he makes now. If he goes to the dance he is disappointing the girl who is having the party to ease his and her feelings. If he goes to the party he leaves his friend in an awkward spot. He knows this. I did not have to tell him, even though I did. I also feel a little uncomfortable with his asking another girl so close to the dance date. And I worry if she will have hurt feelings knowing she was the second choice as well as the other circumstances surrounding this. I'm sure she knows. There were tears involved. We said a prayer and I hugged him. I love him and my heart aches to see my children in pain.
Spencer texted me from school saying that his friend wouldn't talk to him. Fortunately, he got over it by the time school was out because I drove them both to a girl's birthday party at Jack and Jill's. It was not any girl's party, it was his friend's date. Later that night they attended the birthday for the girl who it was suggested Spencer take. He goes to way too many parties, in my opinion. In between the parties Spencer and his friend hung out in our basement listening to loud music.
Emma was back an forth between Kaisyn and Shelby's houses. They came here for ice cream and even cleaned up their mess--love those girls! It is fun to watch her grow up. Her friends are cute and fun to talk to. Estelle was in and out and all around with a gaggle of girls. Our summer nights are coming to a close so it was good that they took advantage of the brisk, but not too cold night air we had last night. Taylor had two friends come to the door inviting him to one of their houses to watch a move, but he was with Destry helping Leon load an old car onto a trailer to take to Panguitch for refurbishing. They went to KFC and as far as I know were the only ones in the family who really had dinner--mother of the year right here.
In my defense it took all my energy and attention to keep track of everyone and keep everything somewhat cleaned up as well as doing my part in Sarah's "progressive late night." She and Lydia, Emmy and Bridger had been playing all afternoon and came up with a plan to go to each one of their homes to do a different activity. Regan joined in that evening as we were finishing up so I made sure her mom was ok with the rotations. She said sure and that she would plan something too. I was told that we were to host Bingo and Don't Eat Pete games. Good, I can handle that. They were in and out of the house and shortly until after 7:00 when they came in for the games. She wanted to use popcorn as the Don't Eat Pete markers and Cheez-Its for the bingo markers. She asked at that time if we had had dinner, I thought for a moment and said, "No." She said, "Oh good I'll have popcorn and Cheez-Its." Perfect. She had roasted marshmallows at another house too. If there was any other food involved at the other houses I am not aware of that. Oh, she also had Swedish Fish, the bingo prize.
At one point Estelle asked if we had had dinner; it was after Sarah had asked so I didn't have to think about it this time. I knew. She asked if she and Madie could have yogurt and dry Ramen. Sure. Eat the Ramen outside, it makes a mess. We will count Emma's ice cream as her dinner and I know that at one party Spencer had cookies and there were lots of them. I'm sure there was some type of treat at the other party as well, but the timing of that party was more afternoon snack if we're getting technical.
I love the crazy busy times, but I would like to get my family back sometimes. I want to think of a fun way to reinvent the "family movie night." Do you think that if I make it sound really fun and have lots of treats and tell everyone that they can invite their friends to it as well that I could get them all to hang around all together once in a while?
Things evolve.
Next came the occasional "late night." We, like many other families, decided that we would not participate in sleepovers and the late night became the substitute activity. During some late nights we would have our friends over and occasionally my kids would go elsewhere. As time went on Friday nights became more about friends than family until now where it is exclusively about friends.
I have been told, more than once, that our house has a revolving door. I suppose it does and I love it. I love seeing our neighbor friends flow in and out. I love getting to know the new friends my children have met in school. Last night was an extra crazy and extra fun Friday night all rolled up into one.
It began right after school, of course. I enjoy greeting my children and hearing about their day. I am usually worn out by Friday afternoon and grateful that the elementary people only have to read. The rest of the week I am very dutiful about listening to them, but on Fridays, Raz-Kids and reading to themselves are usually the activities I choose.
I received a phone call from a friend. I usually like to include names of our friends, but for this story I will omit them. A little back story for this phone call is this. Spencer has a great group of friends, including a 15 year old girl that he kinda likes and who kinda likes him too. It is innocent and cute and part of growing up. At 16, Spencer is an older sophomore. The homecoming dance is coming up next week and he was not planning on going. That is until he received pressure from a couple of friends who insisted that this particular girl's parents would approve of his asking her to the dance as long as they went as a group.
He and another newly 16 year old friend made plans to go together. Well, the friend asked and received a positive answer. Spencer asked and two days later was told that her parents, indeed, felt like she was too young. She was, however, hosting a "not going to homecoming party next Saturday." He agreed to go. She felt bad and awkward, as did my son. Spencer is also worried that her parents will think less of him--poor boy. In addition, he feels bad that he is leaving his friend without a double date...This whole situation is very distressing for him. It makes me glad I'm not 16, or 15.
Now to the phone call. The mother of the boy who is left with a date, but not a group to go with called to express her valid concerns. She feels that Spencer needs to fulfill his obligation to her son by asking another girl to the dance, she even offered a suggestion of a cute girl who just celebrated her 16th birthday yesterday. She explained that her son is left in a sticky situation because neither his parents nor the girls' parents would allow them to go alone. I told her that I understood and asked about his joining another group, but at this point it would be difficult because it is so close to the dance date. I told her that I would, in fact, talk to Spencer to make sure he understood the situation his friend is now in. I understand her concerns I am concerned about that too. I hung up wondering what exactly she wanted me to do about this. I was true to my word and as soon as I hung up with her I invited Spencer into my room so we could talk semi-privately. I'm not sure if she wanted me to require Spencer to ask another girl or what. It is Spencer's choice and his and his friends' problem.
We can certainly look back and see how everyone could have done things differently, including Spencer's not asking a 15 year old girl in the first place. I feel like Spencer loses no matter which choice he makes now. If he goes to the dance he is disappointing the girl who is having the party to ease his and her feelings. If he goes to the party he leaves his friend in an awkward spot. He knows this. I did not have to tell him, even though I did. I also feel a little uncomfortable with his asking another girl so close to the dance date. And I worry if she will have hurt feelings knowing she was the second choice as well as the other circumstances surrounding this. I'm sure she knows. There were tears involved. We said a prayer and I hugged him. I love him and my heart aches to see my children in pain.
Spencer texted me from school saying that his friend wouldn't talk to him. Fortunately, he got over it by the time school was out because I drove them both to a girl's birthday party at Jack and Jill's. It was not any girl's party, it was his friend's date. Later that night they attended the birthday for the girl who it was suggested Spencer take. He goes to way too many parties, in my opinion. In between the parties Spencer and his friend hung out in our basement listening to loud music.
Emma was back an forth between Kaisyn and Shelby's houses. They came here for ice cream and even cleaned up their mess--love those girls! It is fun to watch her grow up. Her friends are cute and fun to talk to. Estelle was in and out and all around with a gaggle of girls. Our summer nights are coming to a close so it was good that they took advantage of the brisk, but not too cold night air we had last night. Taylor had two friends come to the door inviting him to one of their houses to watch a move, but he was with Destry helping Leon load an old car onto a trailer to take to Panguitch for refurbishing. They went to KFC and as far as I know were the only ones in the family who really had dinner--mother of the year right here.
In my defense it took all my energy and attention to keep track of everyone and keep everything somewhat cleaned up as well as doing my part in Sarah's "progressive late night." She and Lydia, Emmy and Bridger had been playing all afternoon and came up with a plan to go to each one of their homes to do a different activity. Regan joined in that evening as we were finishing up so I made sure her mom was ok with the rotations. She said sure and that she would plan something too. I was told that we were to host Bingo and Don't Eat Pete games. Good, I can handle that. They were in and out of the house and shortly until after 7:00 when they came in for the games. She wanted to use popcorn as the Don't Eat Pete markers and Cheez-Its for the bingo markers. She asked at that time if we had had dinner, I thought for a moment and said, "No." She said, "Oh good I'll have popcorn and Cheez-Its." Perfect. She had roasted marshmallows at another house too. If there was any other food involved at the other houses I am not aware of that. Oh, she also had Swedish Fish, the bingo prize.
At one point Estelle asked if we had had dinner; it was after Sarah had asked so I didn't have to think about it this time. I knew. She asked if she and Madie could have yogurt and dry Ramen. Sure. Eat the Ramen outside, it makes a mess. We will count Emma's ice cream as her dinner and I know that at one party Spencer had cookies and there were lots of them. I'm sure there was some type of treat at the other party as well, but the timing of that party was more afternoon snack if we're getting technical.
I love the crazy busy times, but I would like to get my family back sometimes. I want to think of a fun way to reinvent the "family movie night." Do you think that if I make it sound really fun and have lots of treats and tell everyone that they can invite their friends to it as well that I could get them all to hang around all together once in a while?
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